Why You're Stuck in the Waiting Place
Dr. Seuss and the Scarcity Mindset
I'm a slow mover. My mom certainly inculcated me with an attitude of general wariness — over the potential for negative outcomes over various decisions. For certain, this has kept me out of all kinds of trouble, but it would be silly to think it hasn't deprived me of some positive experiences as well.
With bigger decisions, I will usually wrestle and writhe for ages, make interminable pros and cons list (do these ever work for anyone?), dragging myself through the muck, pinned by uncertainty and hesitation until there's simply nothing left to do but act. It's really not optimal, but hey, it's my process. By the time I get moving, you can be sure that the decision has been considered. Self-psychoanalysis hints that I'm searching for that ever elusive, mythical option with no downside.
Some have accused me of being an incrementalist, but I wouldn't go that far! ;)
One of my favourite Dr. Seuss books is "Oh, the Places You'll Go," about a person making their way through both the wonders and tribulations of life. It has all of his trademark rhyme and meter, fanciful artwork, and simple wisdom that seems obvious right after you read it.
Since I struggle with inertia, the best part of it all in my view is the middle two pages called "The Waiting Place," which illustrates all kinds of people stuck in their lives. Comforting, since I'm reminded I'm not the only one! It has the following familiar passage:
The Waiting Place…
…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
NO!
That’s not for you! Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.
- Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go! New York: Random House, 1990.
One day, having dithered incessantly over some decision or another, I decided to read the passage again, but this time I asked ChatGPT to write a 2000 word essay on "why human beings should try really hard to avoid The Waiting Place." I supplied just the above passage from the book as context.
My jaw dropped as it came back with the following essay a few seconds later:
Title: The Perils of the Waiting Place: Why Humans Should Strive to Avoid It
In Dr. Seuss' timeless classic "Oh, the Places You'll Go," there's a poignant passage that speaks volumes about the human experience: The Waiting Place. It's a space where people find themselves trapped, held captive by anticipation, longing, and uncertainty. Dr. Seuss vividly describes a scene where individuals are endlessly waiting—for trains, buses, planes, mail, rain, phone calls, and countless other things. They wait for life to happen to them, rather than seizing the reins and making things happen themselves.
The Waiting Place is not a physical location but a state of mind—an emotional and psychological space characterized by stagnation and inertia. It's a place where dreams wither, ambitions fade, and potential remains unfulfilled. In essence, it's a purgatory of inaction—a realm where time stands still, and progress is elusive.
One of the most insidious aspects of the Waiting Place is its allure of false comfort. It offers the illusion of safety and security, luring individuals into a sense of complacency. It whispers seductively, "Just wait a little longer, and everything will fall into place." Yet, as time passes, those who succumb to its siren call realize that waiting alone will not bring about the change they desire. Instead, it only prolongs their suffering and delays their journey toward fulfillment.
Moreover, the Waiting Place breeds passivity and dependence. When individuals become accustomed to waiting for external events to dictate their lives, they relinquish their agency and autonomy. They forfeit the opportunity to shape their own destinies and become mere spectators in the theater of life.
Furthermore, the Waiting Place fosters a mindset of scarcity rather than abundance. It instills a belief that opportunities are scarce resources to be hoarded and coveted, rather than abundant blessings to be seized and shared. In this mindset, individuals view the success of others as a threat rather than an inspiration, leading to jealousy, resentment, and bitterness.
Perhaps most importantly, the Waiting Place robs individuals of the precious gift of time. Time is a finite resource, yet so often it is squandered in the pursuit of ephemeral distractions and idle pursuits. Every moment spent in the Waiting Place is a moment lost—a precious opportunity that can never be regained.
Yet, amidst the bleakness of the Waiting Place, there is hope. Dr. Seuss reminds us that "That’s not for you! Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing." Indeed, the antidote to the Waiting Place lies within each individual. It requires courage, determination, and a willingness to embrace uncertainty.
To escape the clutches of the Waiting Place, one must cultivate a mindset of action and initiative. Instead of passively waiting for life to unfold, individuals must seize every opportunity to take control of their own destinies. They must set goals, make plans, and take decisive steps toward their dreams, regardless of the obstacles they may encounter along the way.
Moreover, escaping the Waiting Place requires a shift in perspective—from one of scarcity to one of abundance. Rather than viewing success as a finite resource to be hoarded, individuals must recognize that there is more than enough success to go around. They must celebrate the achievements of others and draw inspiration from their triumphs, knowing that their own success is not diminished by the success of others.
Finally, escaping the Waiting Place requires a commitment to living in the present moment. Time is too precious to be squandered in fruitless anticipation of the future. Instead, individuals must embrace the here and now, fully immersing themselves in the richness of each moment.
In conclusion, the Waiting Place is a perilous trap that ensnares countless individuals, robbing them of their dreams, ambitions, and potential. Yet, it is not an inevitable fate. With courage, determination, and a willingness to embrace uncertainty, individuals can escape the clutches of the Waiting Place and discover the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. The choice is theirs to make—to wait passively for life to happen or to seize the reins and make their own destiny.
I was absolutely floored. I won't try to analyze the whole response above, but Jeezus—can you believe how well-written that is? I pored over it a few times, imagining the AI sipping effortlessly from the fount of human knowledge, thought, and creativity, effortlessly summarizing the nature of stagnation in 2000 words. This was the moment when my skepticism over the usefulness of generative AI was forever and completely squashed.
I wrote back:
Me: oh my god. You wrote that much better than I could have.
ChatGPT: Thank you! I'm glad you found the essay helpful. If you need any further assistance or have any other requests, feel free to let me know!
Coming back to earth a bit, I realized that many of the themes in the article were familiar to me, having been to the waiting place many times myself. I'm 54. People around my age and older keenly feel the price we pay whenever we waste the precious gift of time. My longtime companion was the familiar, persistent hope that the stars would align before I acted. And I dreaded how easily I could become a victim of my own comfort-seeking—complacency and meaninglessness my befitting prize. I started to drift back into a self-satisfied state "I could have written that," I mused.
But then I found something I didn't yet understand in ChatGPT's explanation—the middle paragraph about the scarcity mindset. Here it is again:
Furthermore, the Waiting Place fosters a mindset of scarcity rather than abundance. It instills a belief that opportunities are scarce resources to be hoarded and coveted, rather than abundant blessings to be seized and shared. In this mindset, individuals view the success of others as a threat rather than an inspiration, leading to jealousy, resentment, and bitterness.
I didn't get it. And I had read the book numerous times and thought I was pretty damned familiar with my waiting patterns. But not once did I think it had anything to do with having a scarcity mindset. So I continued my chat.
Me: Please explain the idea that the waiting place is a symptom of a scarcity mindset.
ChatGPT: The idea that the Waiting Place is a symptom of a scarcity mindset stems from the notion that individuals trapped in this state often perceive resources, opportunities, and even time itself as limited and scarce. In a scarcity mindset, people believe that there is not enough to go around, whether it's success, happiness, love, or any other desirable outcome. This belief leads them to hoard what they have, fear losing it, and compete with others for a share of the limited resources.
In the context of the Waiting Place, individuals may feel that opportunities for success, happiness, or fulfillment are scarce commodities that they must wait for patiently, hoping to secure their share. They may believe that there is only a finite amount of success available in the world, and if someone else achieves it, there will be less for them. As a result, they adopt a passive stance, waiting for their turn to come rather than actively pursuing their goals.
Moreover, the scarcity mindset fosters a sense of competition and comparison with others. Individuals in the Waiting Place may perceive the success of others as a threat to their own aspirations, leading to feelings of envy, resentment, and bitterness. Instead of celebrating the achievements of others and drawing inspiration from their success, they view it as evidence of their own inadequacy and lack.
Additionally, the scarcity mindset often leads to a fear of taking risks and stepping out of one's comfort zone. Individuals in the Waiting Place may hesitate to pursue their dreams or seize opportunities for fear of failure or rejection. They may cling to the familiar and the safe, rather than venturing into the unknown and embracing uncertainty.
Overall, the Waiting Place thrives on the belief that there is not enough to go around and that individuals must wait patiently for their share of success, happiness, and fulfillment. This scarcity mindset perpetuates feelings of passivity, dependency, and competition, trapping individuals in a state of inertia and preventing them from realizing their full potential. To escape the Waiting Place, individuals must shift their mindset from one of scarcity to one of abundance, recognizing that there is more than enough to go around and that success is not a finite resource to be hoarded but a limitless possibility to be embraced.
Another excellent summary. Jaw still on floor. But there seemed to be contradictions within, so I prepared to stick my steely knives into ChatGPT and re-assert my robot superiority.
Me: I understand how a scarcity mindset fosters a sense of competition, but I'm not quite understanding how the same scarcity mindset makes people believe they have to wait patiently for opportunities. Those seem to be opposite conclusions—can you explain?
ChatGPT: You're absolutely correct that the ideas may initially seem contradictory, but they can actually coexist within the framework of a scarcity mindset.
In a scarcity mindset, individuals perceive resources, opportunities, and time as limited and finite. As a result, they may feel a sense of urgency and competition to secure their share of these scarce resources. This can manifest in a belief that they must wait patiently for opportunities to come their way, as they fear that if they act too hastily or assertively, they may miss out or even risk losing what little they have.
For example, someone with a scarcity mindset may believe that there are only a limited number of job opportunities available, and that they must wait for the perfect opportunity to present itself before taking action. They may hesitate to apply for jobs or pursue career advancement opportunities out of fear that they will not be successful, or that they will waste their time and energy on fruitless endeavors.
Similarly, individuals with a scarcity mindset may feel that there is a finite amount of success or happiness available in the world, and that they must wait patiently for their turn to receive their share. They may believe that taking proactive steps to pursue their goals or improve their circumstances will only result in disappointment or failure, so they adopt a passive stance and wait for life to happen to them.
In essence, the scarcity mindset can lead individuals to believe that opportunities are scarce and must be rationed carefully, leading them to wait patiently for their chance to seize them. This waiting can become a form of self-preservation, as individuals seek to avoid the perceived risks and uncertainties associated with taking action in a world of limited resources.
However, it's important to recognize that this waiting often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, as individuals may miss out on opportunities or fail to achieve their goals precisely because they are waiting passively for them to materialize. Breaking free from the waiting mentality requires shifting from a mindset of scarcity to one of abundance, where opportunities are seen as plentiful and success is believed to be attainable through proactive effort and initiative.
I was getting closer to understanding, but still not quite getting it. One last try.
Me: but if I believe opportunities to be scarce, wouldn't I do better to not sit idly by waiting for one to present itself, but instead seize every opportunity that arises? I'm still not understanding why a scarcity mindset manifests as waiting. I understand why fear of being unsuccessful may produce a waiting behaviour, as it may prevent someone from engaging in an attempt, e.g. due to their time being wasted on a fruitless endeavour, as you say. Are you saying that the scarcity mindset makes people believe that their attempts to seize opportunities will likely fail, which causes them to wait?
ChatGPT: You make a valid point. Let's clarify.
In a scarcity mindset, individuals may indeed believe that opportunities are scarce, and they might recognize the importance of seizing every opportunity that arises. However, the belief in scarcity can also create a sense of fear and apprehension about taking action.
The fear stems from the belief that failure is not only possible but highly probable. Individuals with a scarcity mindset may perceive themselves as lacking the necessary resources, skills, or abilities to succeed. They may worry that their efforts will be futile and that they will end up worse off than before if they take risks and fail.
This fear of failure can lead to a paradoxical response: while individuals recognize the importance of seizing opportunities, they may hesitate to do so out of fear of the potential consequences. They may rationalize their inaction by telling themselves that they are waiting for the perfect opportunity, or that they need more time to prepare before taking action.
Additionally, the scarcity mindset can also foster a sense of learned helplessness. Individuals may become resigned to their circumstances, believing that their efforts will ultimately be fruitless in a world where resources are scarce and success seems unattainable. This learned helplessness can lead to a passive approach, where individuals resign themselves to waiting for opportunities to come to them, rather than actively seeking them out.
In summary, while individuals with a scarcity mindset may recognize the importance of seizing opportunities, their fear of failure and learned helplessness can lead them to adopt a passive stance and wait for opportunities to present themselves. This waiting behavior is driven by a belief that their efforts will likely fail, and that it is safer to wait for the right opportunity to come along rather than risk taking action and facing potential disappointment.
I conceded to ChatGPT and thanked it for its patience. I understood now—to someone with a scarcity mindset, resources are scarce, opportunities are scarce, and the prospect of success itself is scarce. Why try if trying is fraught with problems, unknowns, and likely failure?
That's the subject of another article, but let's just pause for a moment, and reflect on that ridiculously incredible exchange that could not have happened a short while ago.
I remember excitedly telling three friends about it over the next week or so. I was flabbergasted. Not only was a generative robot helpful in uncovering something new about a beloved Seuss passage I was very familiar with, but it was able to explain away my objections to its propositions, and given me new understanding in way that I felt a personal therapist might have taken years to uncover. In about two minutes.
So what do you think my friends said when I told them about this? I'll give you a hint—it was all a version of the same response you've by now heard many say when considering the march of AI: "we're fucked!" "I don't know what we're going to do—human beings will be useless!" "There goes my job."
Maybe having scarcity mindset might have more of a hold on us than we would like to admit. Not one of us had the abundant response "hey cool, free personal therapy that works, in minutes!" or "I'm going to try [some other useful thing] with ChatGPT," at least not at first.
But consider this—I had one of these conversations in front of the private school where I was picking up my 11 year-old, one at a nice Italian restaurant during a lovely catch-up, and another over wine at a friend's downtown condo. I drove to all of these places in my own car. Scarcity?
Now people—I understand that I, and those in my immediate peer group, have been very lucky in life to have been born in the right place at the right time, that my parents took advantage of the right (lucky) opportunities, that they encouraged me in every possible way; I've been kept safe, over-educated, well fed, clothed, and housed, and basically lived the life of a King. I'm very thankful for all of it. And I know that most of the world still struggles with poverty, lives under the rule of some totalitarian regime, and currently has no real opportunity to even begin a journey of upward mobility.
Yes, I've worked hard here and there to better my life, especially when it was required of me, but where you're born makes so much more of a difference than how hard you work, and I'm quite certain that those less lucky than me work a lot harder than I do. I'm under no illusions that I'm not one of life's lottery winners, and that others experience scarcity far more acutely, so much so as to make my abstract musings on scarcity a bit hard to take. If you're even reading this article, you're probably pretty lucky too, with your ubiquitous internet and your pocket supercomputer, and the leisure time to care mildly about my words.
But that's the whole point. Even with our luck, we seem to be imprisoned by the notion of scarcity, a notion that must be baked right into our stupid genes.
But my genes also gave me a mind that can think, and it believes that:
the impending robot revolution will shower us with gargantuan gifts of wealth, because every single productivity power tool ever created has done so, luddite protests notwithstanding. And AI is a doozy of a tool.
Before poverty can be eradicated, that newfound wealth will almost certainly flow disproportionally to those who really don't need it, which will eventually make wealth redistribution through something like UBI not only a necessity, but a probability, floating all boats.
over a long period of time, worldwide abundance will eventually win the day1 and human beings will likely be blessed with an embarrassment of wealth and leisure time.
My point is that... seeing my life at it is today, and knowing all this... I'd have hoped that any notions of scarcity would have been proved out of me by now. But sometimes a belief is so deeply entrenched in your psyche that no light can penetrate to disinfect it. These gut feelings are often just a long-forgotten ancestor's latent echo, developed on the distant plains of Africa, once mindful of the predator that left the watering hole long ago. And the most pernicious aspect of these kinds of beliefs or gut feelings is that we mostly don't even realize that they're there. The reptile in us prevails.
Even if AI produces all of this wealth and leisure for humanity, you can bet that we'll dutifully turn our worries to the scarcity of purpose and meaning in our lives, if we aren't doing that already. So why is scarcity so persistent?
In response to the 1000th tiresome iteration of the interview question "why do you want to be president?" Bernie Sanders replied in his preamble "who knows why we do things."2
It doesn't even matter. Let's say it was ancient snakes who stole our food and killed our babies. How does this help us today? Sometimes we just have to ignore our gut. As Rob Gordon said in his frustrated High Fidelity lament, "sometimes my guts... have shit for brains!"
The antidote to a scarcity mindset has to be an abundance mindset, and I think we should take that literally―we may have to set our minds into a certain configuration in order to experience it.
But how? ChatGPT hinted at what I might do differently:
celebrate the achievements of others and draw inspiration from their success; Pete Townsend once said he felt physical pain the first time he heard Jimi Hendrix play, because he knew he would never be that good. But he eventually became the creative force behind The Who, who forever changed music and rocked harder than the Canadian shield.
practice feeling a sense of gratitude and abundance of resources, opportunities, and relationships; Thanksgiving is good time to practice this! Do you want to feel like a mouse waiting for a crumb to fall from the table, or like lords and ladies at a sumptuous banquet?
consider that most actions don't have dire consequences; Not every decision is an act of self preservation... really! Most of the time it's just a fear of failure or embarrassment, and in the end nobody really cares whether you fail or succeed. So fail away, or succeed—either way you'll have tried, learned, and grown.
understand that perfect opportunities don't exist; Every silver lining has a cloud, so stop hoping exclusively for unicorns, rainbows, and pots of gold―just go for it. If you're near the extreme of recklessness and abandon, a little thoughtful reflection would likely do you well. But if you're closer to the extreme of caution and paralysis, forget how you feel―action is almost always a good thing.
Contemplating death reminds us that time is the ultimate scarce resource, and that time spent in the waiting place is literally life wasted. If you haven't checked out Steve Jobs' Stanford commencement address, you should. I'll end with this passage from the third story in his speech, which exemplifies the importance of not getting stuck in the waiting place, and how the illusion of scarcity in all other realms crumbles when compared with the prospect of death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
- Steve Jobs, 2005
One more Dr. Seuss quote to end off: "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose."
- ©Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go! New York: Random House, 1990.
Assuming asteroids, polar shifts, climate change, or the robots themselves don't end us first…
Bernie's authenticity is why I love that guy.
Well said. But there is also the pleasure or comfort of being in the waiting place, which can blunt the anxiety or regret of it. Is there an Ozempic for the 'waiting-mind virus' ?
P.S. I find that AI can simply repeat a bunch of content from its prior answers in an attempt to be insightful, whereas real people might go directly into the crux of the matter without "padding" the dialogue.